Parenthood is extremely hard. Unlike other jobs, there are no prerequisites to becoming a parent. People don’t go to school and study courses like:
- Psychology 1: Meltdowns, Tantrums, and Teens
- Beahvioral Psychology: 100 Types of Discipline Strategies
- Self-Help: How To Deal With Teething Babies
- Referee Course 1.0: Sibling Rivalry
- Referee Course 2.0: Teens Against Parents
- Referee Course 3.0: Moms and Whiners
- Home Economics 1.0: Clean Anything On Everything
- Home Economics 2.0: Last Minute School Projects
- Home Economics 3.0: Do Chores While On the Phone
- Linguistics: Toddlerspeak
- Linguistics: The Secret Language of Teens
- Biology: Real versus Imagined Childhood Ailments
- Chemistry 1: Cooking For Kids
- Computer Science 1: Hack Your Kid’s Social Media Accounts
- Computer Science 2: Tracking Devices
- Photography: Catching A Toddler/Tween on Camera
- Math Special Parent Course: How To Make Every Penny Count
- Sociology: How To Keep Your Adult Friends
- History: Yoga Pants and Coffee
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With this in mind, it’s not a surprise that parenting sometimes come with unwanted emotions and behaviors that, frankly, no parent is ever proud of having. I don’t think any parent ever starts out bad on purpose.
But if you’ve ever had a job (other than parenting) before, you would agree that you can’t do your best work if you lack knowledge, experience, and support. I think this holds true for parenting too. That’s why we all pick up parenting books, read parenting blogs, and maybe even go to counseling as we navigate parenthood.
Unfortunately, we sometimes lose our cool. We show a part of ourselves, in the heat of the moment, that we completely regret after the fact. I’m talking about these bad companies:
- Bitterness: anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment.
- Fury: wild or violent anger.
- Anger: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.
- Shouting: utter a loud call or cry, typically as an expression of a strong emotion.
- Reviling: criticize in an angrily insulting manner.
- Malice: the intention or desire to do evil; ill will.
I AM GUILTY. (Except for fury and malice.)
I am especially guilty when it comes to shouting. That is the thorn on my side. And that is the one thing that I think is going to prevent me from going to heaven.
I don’t mean to, but I do. When I lose control of the situation, when I’m being ignored on purpose, when nothing is working right, I shout. I yell. I get loud. And then people move and listen.
How do I stop this? It’s so hard. I want to be a kind and gentle mother. The Caroline Ingalls type of kind and gentle mothering. You know what I mean?
And the NUMBER ONE reason I want to be kind and gentle is because I want my kids to be kind and gentle too. Modeling good behavior is the best way to teach children. I don’t want my kids to become an old yeller like me. It breaks my heart to know that they might become like that because their mom was a yeller.
NO. They will not be old yellers. My kids will be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. I will be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. For their sake, I will be. I WILL BE.